Love in the time of Coronavirus
24 Mar 2020The coronavirus COVID-19 is spreading infectiously, causing panic worldwide. As a result, countries are being locked down, causing social isolation. In the midst of all of this chaos, there is one love story that has a lot of potential to grow and blossom- your love story with yourself. Yes, this article is about a journey of love but with a major twist. It is about my journey with discovering the importance of self-love in the time of COVID-19.
While the infectiousness of COVID-19 seemed like a major social issue, the strict measures being imposed to prevent the spread of the disease brought in a lot of unforeseen issues. One of the major issues for me was the depression that came in with the social isolation.
The uncertainty of the entire situation was staggering and unsettling. Also, being away from home and family made things worse. I was constantly worried about my family and vice versa. Due to the increased risk of contracting the infection during travel, I ruled out the option of going back to my home country. This left me feeling overwhelmed by homesickness but helpless as I was stuck in the cross-fire. The last thing I wanted was to be put in quarantine once I got back home.
The first day of social isolation seemed alright. I stocked up on groceries for about a week and got through the day despite a few hiccups and a lot of panic. However, with each passing day, I got more anxious and restless. This is when I learnt the importance of spending time alone and loving myself. This is when I began to re-discover myself and decided to “date myself” for a while.
It all started with a single question- “Am I being too strict on myself?” When I asked my best friend this question, he vehemently answered- “Yes. You are. What you need is some self-compassion and self-love.” What really struck me then was the realization that I did not know the true meaning of those words. And so began a journey of a lifetime.
A good starting point for me was the experiences and teachings of Dr. Kristin Neff about ‘The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion’. Self-compassion is essentially about being compassionate not only about others but also about yourself by including yourself in the circle of compassion. We need to treat ourselves with the same compassion that we treat a good friend. A useful trick that I learnt and began implementing in my life was to ask myself if I would be okay with saying certain things to my good friend before saying it to myself. Repeatedly asking myself this question led me to realise that I have been too harsh on myself and I do need to allow myself to be nicer and encouraging. The boost in my self-image and productivity were apparent almost immediately. Another major takeaway for me was mindfulness or ‘being in the present moment’. I tried to make a conscious effort to enjoy the present company and it helped me connect better with those around me.
I used this time of social isolation to read a lot and to write. I also invested time in working on hobbies that I had been putting on the back seat for a long time now. Food has always been my first love. Good food is my go-to fix for any kind of mood. I went grocery shopping and decided to pamper myself with a lot of good food. I also decided to delve deeper in my experiments with food. I started spending more time cooking and tried out new recipes.
To make myself more at home in my room, I decided to decorate my room and personalize it. This is what spurred me to get back to origami. It is indeed lovely what you can do with a simple piece of square paper just by folding it up! I looked for walls and spaces in my room that I could decorate. Following this, I made origami wall decorations, photo frames, lampshades, posters and much more. In each of these, I ensured that I added a splash of color and an element of myself. I began some spring cleaning and re-arranged my room. In a week or two (owing to the online classes and heavy coursework), my room began to feel more cozy and I started looking forward to spending time in it. At the same time, I also discovered a long-last hobby that helped me get some space and also gave me a lot of peace of mind and satisfaction. It had a meditative and therapeutic effect on me.
While I was exploring a lot of new ways to improve myself, I also chanced upon the Quantified self movement, which believed in using data collected via sensors as a mirror to reflect inwards. I started looking at aspects of myself that I wanted to quantify and how I could use technology for self-discovery, self-improvement, and self-knowledge. After all, if we want to act more effectively in the world, we got to get to know ourselves better. After giving this a lot of thought, I realized that I wanted to work on two main aspects- reducing the time I spend online on my phone, while also improving my focus and running and working out regularly.
I downloaded two apps- Forest and Screen Time to get started on the first goal. Whenever I had to focus and work, I began using Forest and it helped me stay focused on the goal at hand. At the same time, I began tracking my screen usage in terms of time spent and also app-wise. The constant awareness of the time I spent online helped me reduce it over time. The realization that I spent a lot of time on social media helped me divert my time into more productive apps. For the second goal, I began using a fitness tracker to become aware of how much physical activity I had during the day. This motivated me to increase it gradually. Surprisingly, it helped me fix my food and sleep cycle and fix a daily calendar for myself.
Another really interesting concept that I read about and tried to implement was Atomic Habits. I was introduced to it through this talk and this blog post by James Clear. The core idea behind it is that if you work to improve yourself 1% every day for a year, that already makes you 37 times better by the end of the year. While we might not realize it, small habits and little choices are transforming us everyday already. Inspired by this, I began working on developing positive habits by integrating them into my daily schedule. I started my day with some exercise and ended it with some meditation. I began keeping a book by my pillow and it helped me get back to reading. I also ensured that the habits I wanted to develop were within easy reach or prompted while I worked- plenty of water, putting away my phone, reminders for medicines and food and creating to-do lists and putting them on my wall. It was not long before these became habits and have now started becoming a part of me. To quote James Clear- “Every action is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. If you can change your habits, you can change your life.”
I did my best to use this time of social isolation and quarantine by integrating more self-love and self-compassion in my life. I would strongly advise it to everyone reading this post. At the same time, it works in the best interest of public safety and helps us find ways to spend our time in improving ourselves. Stay happy, stay safe and love yourself!